Sunday, February 10, 2008

Mystery Topic Challenge #7

This rounds topic is:

"You awaken to find yourself stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a pocket knife, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and Britney Spears. How did you get there, and what do you do now?"

June 9, 2008. My world came crashing down - literally - yesterday. Yesterday morning I said goodbye to my wife, drove to the airport, and got on a plane to go to a trade show in Hawaii. The last thing I remember before I woke up on this beach was a loud shake, the lights in the airplane going off, and the flight attendants telling us to assume crash positions. I spent the morning and most of the afternoon sifting through wreckage as it washed up, to see if I could find something useful to survive until I could figure out a way to get off what I assume is an island somewhere in the South Pacific. The rest of the day I went looking for food, survivors and some kind of shelter.

June 10. After a brief shower this morning had passed, I went exploring some more. This morning I found a suitcase that had washed up, although it had come open in the surf. but I did find a pocketknife, some clothes, and a bottle of what I assume is Jack Daniels. The label is torn off though so I am not sure. I threw the clothes away. I also found on the other end of the lagoon some evidence that at least some one survived the crash long enough to make it to the beach..

June 11. The pocketknife, a swiss army knife, was as useful as stereotypically advertised, as I managed to whittle a fish spear, and actually managed to find something other than bananas to eat. now if I could only find a mirror or some glass to start a solar fire, so I can eat something else besides sushi and bananas. Found more evidence of other survivors, as I found some woman's clothing and some prescription pills around what appeared to be a campsite

June 12. Clear plastic luggage tags work somewhat effectively at using the sun to start a fire. No more sushi for me. No sign of anyone else though

June 13. Made it all the way to the other side of the island. found some berries, and fresh water spring. rained all afternoon. No sign of anyone

June 14. Rain and strong wind. no fish today. roasted bananas. Found a cave to set up a dryer camp. no sign of anyone

June 15. Heard bad singing a few moments this morning as I woke up. it stopped after a few minutes though, and I did not hear anything else until late in the day. I wonder if I am starting to go insane.

June 18. Finally saw a glimpse of someone else walking the other way. but they were too close to the surf to hear my yelling I suppose. They were rather short, and brownish blond hair. My guess is it was a woman.

June 19. Yes it was a woman. but she seemed rather out of it. Another severe storm, so I spent most of the day back in the cave.

June 20. Well, my fellow survivor is none other than Britney Spears. And she is as loony as the proverbial fruitcake. After hearing five minutes of her inane prattle, I cannot decide if I will drink myself into a stupor, slit my wrists, slit her throat, or wait until the paparrazi arrive looking for that stupid whore, to get myself off this bloody island.

Please visit the Mystery Topic Challenge Blog to view all of the other entries. Once you've read them all, please be sure to vote HERE in the Sidebar for your favorite.


Killer said...

Hey, I did mine in a diary style also. Also we seem to be the only two so far that have not killed her.

Jayne d'Arcy said...

You too are so polite for leaving her alive. lol Good post, Grump.

The Absurdist said...

Notice too that those who didn't kill her seem to want to kill themselves!


Very nice.

MooPig_Wisdom said...

Hi and nice to meet you:
Your treatment is honest. I sense honesty is a major factor in your judgment of situations and people. Am I right?

In the story, you had no previous knowledge of Brit'ney being on the plane to Hawaii. Maybe she is already at the desert island since she suddenly appeared surfside. Are you certain in this introduction that you are still you, and not Charleton Heston?

"Yes it was a woman. but she seemed rather out of it. Another severe storm, so I spent most of the day back in the cave."

Could this be an indication of a time ladder... Maybe you are leaving the year off your subsequent diary entries, because it is the year 3036 AD, not 2008.

Maybe you have just entered Survivor: Planet of the Apes ... eh? Is it Thursday already?

Too bad Brit'ney isn't mute, though. She might get you eliminated with her knack for ruining everything.

Hopefully not, might you have stayed in the cave and not contacted her, you were all right until the woman showed up. Pat

The Moose said...

Thanks folks.

Mr Wisdom, unfortunately despite my best efforts, of the Seven Deadlies, lying seems to have me in it's grasp much more that I like. But what you may have picked up is that as I am getting older, I am preferring clarity to agreement more and more. Either that or I am just turning bit by bit into a cantankerous jackass who doesn't really care what anyone else thinks.

And I wish I had Mr Heston's 1940's and 1950's physique